A few Fridays ago, I was told that the TV station ABS-CBN was coming to Nueva Valencia to film their television show, Sikat Ka Iloilo! Meaning, "You are Famous, Iloilo!" Since on Friday nights we've been having the opening rounds of Nueva Valencia's Got Talent, I thought that that was what was was being filmed. So when I showed up to the plaza on Friday at about 6:00PM, I was rather surprised to see what I was seeing.
4 people from the community were in front of the crowd, doing some sort of talent show. I missed the explanation for their event, but of course, as per usual, the event was followed by "sample, sample." That's when everyone shouts, "sample, sample," the music comes on (usually, and unfortunately, that song "ba ba Americano..."), and the person is supposed to show off their best dance moves. After seeing what was going on, I realized that there was no way of my getting out of this.
Mayor Gaitan, with whom I've become very friendly with in the past few months, came up to me and asked if I wanted to participate. I said thanks but no thanks. Well, looks like this one was out of the mayor's control. As soon as the four contestants were through with their “sample, sample,” it was time for 5 new contestants. Immediately, my coworkers started shouting to get the attention of the hosts, despite my best objections. “Ohhhh, a foreigner,” the host said. At this point, I had no choice. So I went to the front of the basketball court and waited for the other contestants to be chosen. The hosts asked me my name and gave me a chance to show off some of my basic Illongo. I always say that my Illongo is best when I’m sitting around having a few beers with some Filipinos. Well I can safely say that it is at my worst standing in front of video cameras with a couple hundred people. I could hardly spit out the words “Ako si Jensen” and “Taga New York City,” but I think I got the message through.
Our contest was “Longest Note.” All you had to do was read out “S-I-K-A-T K-A” and then shout “Iloiloooooooooooo” holding the last syllable for as long as you could. But before we began, the host called out “nose-to-nose,” and the crowd cheered. Although I had never heard of this before, I accurately predicted what was coming. One of the TV ladies, whose job it was to give out the mikes to the contestants, and I had to eskimo kiss on camera. It wouldn’t be so embarrassing if it were not in front of every person I work with (and a couple hundred others), but of course I played.
The contest was a nail-biter. I went first and held the note for 14 seconds. I could have gone for longer if I really stretched it out, but as the first contestant, I didn’t really know what was appropriate. Plus I wasn’t feeling particularly competitive. I crushed the next three contestants, but the last one was one of my friends from the LGU, and he happens to have a great singing voice. He basically sang his final note, and although I must say it lacked the muster that my “Iloilooooooo” had, he got 15 seconds and was therefore the winner. What was even less disappointing was that they skipped the “sample sample” for our round and went right to picking new contests for the next game. I had already thought out a couple moves in my head but was perfectly fine not having to execute.
I was still happy with my second-place finish since I still got a gift basket, of course what really matters. It came in a pretty nice-looking red wrapping, but when I opened up I was pretty disappointed to see some packets of Beef na Beef Cup of Noodles (I prefer Chicken na Chicken), a couple single servings of Nestle Café Instant Coffee, and a plastic bag full of sugar. I think the bowl it all came in was the best part of the prize.
Nonetheless, it was a fun experience, and now along with “Hi Kano” and “Hey Joe,” the community members have one more thing to shout at me when I’m walking by… “Iloilooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!”
The experience ended on a disappointed note when during my big premiere, there was a brownout across Guimaras, so I wasn’t able to watch. I did hear from a couple people off the island they saw my performance, so I was happy about that. But then just yesterday my friend Elliott told me I could watch the episode online! I found it and have attached the link below, although I don’t know for how long the link it will last. Nueva Valencia's segment begins on about 26:00, and you can see me at about 28:00. The whole event was dramatically shortened (from a couple hours into a couple minutes), but I did survive the cutting room floor. Not surprisingly, it was my nose-to-nose and awkward raising-the-roof afterward (I panicked)
Too late. They only keep a week's videos available. I was surprised how much English they use.
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